The best advice that I didn’t want to hear.
“You’re going to have to get as strong and as wise as you can. This isn’t going to be easy.” The best advice that I didn’t want to hear. Strength and wisdom will prepare you for your battle ahead. So go on, get strong and wise. Alright, alright maybe it’s not quite that easy. This is a journey, of healing and learning. You cannot beckon it, or will it to be. But you can pray for it. God did not withhold these from me, and He will teach you too.
My journey was painful! I was seeing the brokenness of my relationships, the horrors I had allowed and chose not to see. I was terrified of the future, and it almost made it impossible to leave my abuser. Things started to change within me first. I think that’s how true change starts anyhow. I didn’t know who I was before I married my abuser. So when I left, I had nothing to fall back on, nothing to revert to. I was as lost as ever and I didn’t know who I was.
I sought God though, and He began to build me. He sloughed off all the old stuff keeping me from Him. I prayed and I sought His word and Him every day. He met me where I was. At the time I didn’t feel like much was changing at all. As I look back though, nothing looks the same.
I read as many books as I could possibly get my hands on, and as two toddlers would allow. I learned as much as I could about God, psychology, biblical marriages and domestic violence (just to name a few). Some were helpful and others were not.
Counseling was the last thing I did for myself. I met with a licensed therapist for a long time. This helped me to further my healing by inspecting my belief system, dealing with my childhood and seeing things clearly. And without one of these steps, I believe, I would still be stuck with ideas and a belief system that hurt me.
These are the things I did to get as strong and as wise as I could. I still have a lot of learning though. These are really not profound in nature, they’re actually quite simple, but they are valuable. They will help you see the big picture, the things you can and cannot change, and equip you for the battle ahead. If you can commit to making wisdom and strength a priority, I believe God will meet you there, and it will make your journey a whole lot easier.